I wrote a very silly one-page party game RPG based on something my friends and I have been doing ad hoc for several years now. It’s called Step One: You take an onion and I firmly believe that everyone should experience it once. Was featured in the b3ta newsletter, fulfiling my genuinely held lifelong dream to win the approval of message board users from 2005.
Another chunky list of books read. I’m off parental leave now so expect the pace to slow somewhat.
Desolation Island – Patrick O’Brien
The first of three whole entries for Aubrey & Maturin here, my appreciation of the books having flowered into a beautiful obsession for the month of September. This is the best of the three, with the dynamic duo being faced with overwhelming odds that somehow never seem contrived nor the escapes ridiculous.
The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon
I grew very frustrated with this around the halfway mark, as it became clear that what I found interesting in the book was not the material which was going to make up much of the rest of it. The root of the problem was me just not being enamoured with the core romance, but it’s also a book that suffers heavily from not really engaging with the conditions of its setting; say what you like for old man GRRM, he’d never treat the institutions of feudalism this lightly. Beyond that the climax borders on incoherent, and there’s a comical aspect to the one good dragon repeatedly getting the Worf treatment every time it turns up.
Tower of the Swallow – Andrzej Sapkowski
The light is at the end of the tunnel for Sapkowski, who in his torturous writer’s block has broken the glass over the big “non-linear storytelling” button. The result is a book that moves at least, even if it nakedly skirts the edge of resolving the grand game stuff and Geralt pretty much remains in statis for another book. Exiled philosopher Vysogota is a great addition to the cast, irritating naif Angoulême not so much.
The Fortune of War – Patrick O’Brien
Some slight straining of credulity here, both in the string of catastrophes that Aubrey and Maturin escape from unharmed, and then in the odd light-touch experience of being interrogated on suspicion of spying; it’s all a bit more silly than the series has been so far, if not unenjoyable. Despite an interminable foot chase, when Maturin does turn into Solid Snake over the course of the final chapters, God forgive me I did love it.
The Surgeon’s Mate – Patrick O’Brien
A very strange beast this one, with the characteristic naval action dominating the middle section, bookended (no pun) by Aubrey unwisely getting involved in an affair and Maturin unwisely leaning on the international neutrality of science, and a lengthy prison break from an infamous French castle. A clear improvement over The Fortune of War – you get the impression that O’Brien was much happier writing French villains than Yankee ones – and a delightful romp despite credulity now receding into the distance.
The Red House Mystery – A. A. Milne
A. A. Milne, of “Pooh” fame, tries his hand at writing a locked-room murder mystery. I don’t know if it’s my familiarity with the genre but I guessed te resolution almost immediately, but Milne’s dilettante detective Gillingham is charming enough that I didn’t skip ahead to find out, even if his Holmes and Watson bit is altogether too pleased with itself. Raymond Chandler famously raked this one over the coals for its purported authenticity; it is indeed quite silly, but a fun read regardless.
Fictions – Jorge Luis Borges
A collection of short stories that I confess I have been reading for years at this point. Glad to have finished it, Borges’ ability to conjure an entire setting in a handful of pages is utterly stunning and I’m a big fan of ‘magical realism’, whatever that is supposed to mean.
Splinter of the Mind’s Eye – Alan Dean Foster
An alternative sequel to Star Wars (1977) for a world in which it wasn’t enough of a success to justify the budget to do more space nonsense, or possibly even bring back Harrison Ford. The result is a fascinating historical artifact and an utterly terrible book, a tedious slog through some definitionally low-budget environments (in a book!) and the now unnerving experience of having Luke constantly noting how dazzling various parts of Leia’s anatomy are. Vader falls down a well.
Lady of the Lake – Andrzej Sapkowski
Sapkowski brings it home in style, though the final waffle about what was REALLY going on with the war, multiple-twist ending and all, is a bit much. Sapkowski’s ennui has matured into some intense misanthrophy by this point and it leads to some unique and measured views on (fantasy) wartime and prejudice. The number of abortive plot resolutions in the earlier books pays off here, a layered onion of competing intrigues over young Ciri being unravelled and confounded.
What I’ve been playing recently:
Cyberpunk 2077
Completed this, the first (and only) game I’ve specifically bought for my PS5. Sad to have missed the early, buggy days – long time correspondants will know that I’m convinced PLAYERUNKNOWN’S BATTLEGROUNDS lost a lot when all the bugs were fixed – but what’s left is an excellent open world shooty-drivey thing. I appreciated how adult it all was, not just in the shock ultraviolence but also the general, pervasive sexiness of the setting and characters. Gaming is so often stuck with arrested development in the teenage years (there’s plenty of that here as well) so when it breaks through that barrier its worth nothing. Special mention to the crucifixion quest, one of the bleakest, most cynical things I’ve seen in any fiction this year.
Hitman: World of Assassination
I finished the Hitman 1 missions! It’s only taken me fifteen months. It’s a great game, every level very considered, but I do wonder if I’m missing out because I don’t have the time for the in-depth mission repetition which the game keeps nudging me towards. I’d still be on that boat.
Hades
Celebrated the release of the Switch 2 by buying a game for my long-neglected Switch 1, which had to be gently coaxed back into retaining battery life. I almost ordered a replacement battery, glad I didn’t as it has returned to form. Hades is well scratching the itch formerly occupied by Dead Cells, and before that Nuclear Throne, for games I can very slowly get better at in short intervals. The much-vaunted writing and art is very pleasing also.
Secret Agent Wizard Boy and the International Crime Syndicate
I absolutely hammered the prerelease demo of this last November but haven’t had a chance to engage much with the final release; the demo benefitted from the necessity of having all the elements of gameplay within close reach which gave it a real manic energy that I struggle to summon up in the full game. That’s probably a me-problem however.
Red Dead Redemption 2
Finally burned those crops with the moonshine. No further comment.
Fall Guys
The appeal of bailing out four rounds in because you slipped trying to murder a fellow competitor-bean remains undiminished. Baffling that queueing as a three is still so unpleasant after however many years its been though.
Tetris: The Grand Master
I can reach S1, but S2-6 continue to evade me.
Stunning little gem that hits the Disco Elysium sensation of failing feeling more like a continuation of the story than a cause to reload. Don’t even know if you can reload, I’ve never tried. Considerably more cyberpunk than Cyberpunk, and eminently playable on a Macbook.
Cheating here; this is my game that I’ve been working on. I’ve been adding load/save as well as sketching out ideas for making the various game actions more visually interesting, with a little Sims-esque display of the band going about their business.
Interesting concept and fun to play, but progression requires either a bit more precision than I’m capable of giving or a bit more grind, so I eventually bounced off.
CAPTCHA-mocking fun set of online puzzles. Loved it.
Perfect little clockwork puzzle where you naturally put the available elements together to form a solution.
Counter-strike 2
It’s still Counter-strike. I’m missing Anubis, and Vertigo (which I never thought I’d say) but it’s nice to have Overpass back.
I’ve been reading lots more of those books!
Pirate Enlightenment – David Graeber
RIP to David Graeber, who died in 2020 just before the release of his incredible collaboration with David Wengrow, The Dawn of Everything, possibly my favourite ever book. Pirate Enlightenment feels very much like a chapter cut from that book – and make no mistake, it was nice to have more of anything, but its something of an extended digression and the evidence base is fairly weak even in the context of the miracles Dawn of Everything managed to produce from weak evidence.
The Time of Contempt – Andrzej Sapkowski
If Blood of Elves didn’t have a climax, this one is ‘Ooops – all climax’. I very much enjoyed Geralt’s Penn and Teller-esque lawyer friends in this one, and otherwise it’s all about the bloody farce at the mages’ gathering that takes up the entire middle of the book.
Baptism of Fire – Andrzej Sapkowski
Sapkowski has officially lost control of how to structure a novel at this point, and worse still his main characters are bogged down in an interminable trek through featureless swamps and forests. Eventually, with a chapter to go, Sapkowski snaps and teleports everyone into a more interesting setting, but all pretence that this is not one long shaggy dog story that started with Blood of Elves is gone.
HMS Surprise – Patrick O’Brien
O’Brien swings for the car park here, with lavish (and only slightly racist) depictions of Company-era India as a backdrop to Maturin’s pursuit of the hateful Diana Villiers.
The Mauritius Command – Patrick O’Brien
This one feels like a nice gentle comedown after the chaos of Surprise. Aubrey and Maturin doing normal things together, playing to their strengths, often funny, often thrilling. O’Brien repeats the trick of having a French commander who we never see or meet but who regardless dominates Aubrey’s monologues. It’s a good trick!
Welcome to Dorley Hall – Alyson Greaves
A black comedy experiment in how insane a setting and plot can be before the audience fails to have their hearts warmed by a plucky, struggling protagonist and a secondary cast with hearts of gold; playing on the same pitch as Dear Evan Hansen, somehow.
The Name of the Rose – Umberto Eco
Somehow I had never read this excellent monk-bothering murder mystery. Wasn’t expecting Baskerville (yes) to be quite so much of a Sherlock Holmes pastiche, but I greatly appreciated it. The book that made me look up the most Wikipedia articles about various heresies since Books of Jacob.
The Traitor Baru Cormorant – Seth Dickinson
This was apparently expanded from a short story and it feels it, with the different acts swinging wildly in pace from breakneck to painfully slow. None of that really matters though because Baru is a delight to hang out with, the archetypical “going to change the system from the inside” who is just a little bit too thrilled to be good at her job.