Category: Article

  • The Cult of the Scan

    What is the best way to watch your favourite movie? As technology has progressed, the options have only grown more numerous. Having to go to a cinema used to be synonymous with seeing a film, before home television began its gradual but unyielding incursion into viewing habits. For readers alive for the same timespan as me, the progression from videotape via various discs to streaming has transformed film viewing in your lifetime.

    To the list of available viewing mediums we can add one you may not have heard of: the “35mm scan”, a digital file you download from an anonymous link that isn’t any official home release of the film. Instead, an enterprising fan has gotten ahold of a set of reels from when the film was shown in pre-digital cinemas. Armed with these, they have secured the use of a professional scanner used to digitize film, and have made their own version for home viewing. These scans are highly prized for their scarcity and their perceived proximity to seeing the film in the cinema.

    I will tell you up front: whenever I hear about one of these scans I bristle. The world of colour science, the nitty-gritty detail in how an image goes from being staged in front of a camera to being displayed on a screen, is a complicated and subtle one. Seeing a scan advertised on twitter via a slapped-together comparison of different frames in from different releases showing different colour tones as if it proves something sticks in the craw. Making a home release of a movie is always a process of compromise; the dialogue around 35mm scans erases this complexity.


    When people talk about having seen a film they do it just like that: have you seen the film? A single, unitary experience. But this cannot possibly be the case. Every viewing of a film is unique across a breadth of categories. Did you see it in 3D? In IMAX? On Bluray? On 4K Bluray? On streaming? Cropped to 16:9? The director’s cut? Which director’s cut? In HDR? In the daytime? In HDR in the daytime? And so on. An alien observing from orbit might conclude that no two viewings of a film are comparable, that every one is utterly unique. In practice people actually don’t really think about this, or if they do they decide for themselves whether or not their viewing of the film was sufficient. People may choose to supplement a film they saw on DVD with a trip to the cinema if it comes back around. People may consider that if they watched the airplane edit of a given film, they still need to see the real thing. Conversely, people may seek a censored cut out as a particular experience — ‘stranger in the alps’ and such.

    In the rough hierarchy of preferable viewing scenarios, cinemas and distributors have gotten wise to a few successful approaches. It’s not uncommon for a big action film to receive an ‘IMAX cut’, with some scenes shot for the full frame IMAX format — and when the time comes, with some scenes available to be shown pillarboxed at home. Of course there are 3D presentations also, and adventurous directors have pursued high frame rate showings. But the real prestige is being shown on film, real physical film. Tarantino ran a roadshow of viewings of ‘Hateful Eight’ in the 70mm format. Arthouse cinemas and megaplexes alike boast of special 35mm showings.

    Why is real film so revered? Is it entirely down due to the mystical draw of film grain, the organic distribution of structure in the chemicals that resolve into an image? By the time film stopped being the major format of distribution though, film stock was capable of having very little natural grain. And conversely, digital grain has been largely indistinguishable from the real thing for many years — some directors going so far as to have blank film processed and scanned so that a unique grain can be applied to a digital negative. One of the ironies of film production is that grain, which is so prized by the end consumer as a mark of quality, must be removed for the visual effects process to function. Individual elements cannot appear to have more or less grain, so for visual effects shots it all gets removed at the start of the process and replaced again at the end.

    I saw Once Upon a Time in Hollywood in 35mm on release, at an excellent cinema. It’s a great film, but I can’t say that the chemical medium enhanced the viewing at all. Simulated grain has long being indistinguishable from the real thing. Frankly, seeing any film in a proper cinema will elevate it — the controlled environment, the dark room, the commitment to not being able to pause the damn thing and compulsively scroll on your phone for a while.

    I suspect though that at the root of the question is the authenticity fetish: the analog film experience, joining the vinyl record and the manual gearbox car, is simply more “real”, more tactile, desirable for what it represents rather than any particular positive aspect of the experience it provides. Which isn’t to say that these things don’t have tangible appeals of their own — just that the cosmic first mover is the nostalgic impulse. As the slogan goes, 35mm film is ‘The Real Thing.’


    The dark cousin of the real film screening, the home viewing equivalent, is the phenomenon of the ‘35mm scan’. The news often flies round Twitter: some brave soul has unspooled a prized 35mm print of some classic movie and scanned it in, delivering a true unmediated experience of the film in question for the first time outside of a cinema and at home. Unmediated by what? Well, by the process of home release which — it is implied — goes beyond merely presenting a movie and into tampering with it, presumably with sinister intent. The print, by virtue of having laid untouched since the movie was released in cinemas, represents another level of purity of artistic endeavour — the original, before any revisions could be made.

    The phantom at the feast here is George Lucas, pioneer both of digital filmmaking and of tampering with films post-release. The phenomenon of the 35mm scan is presaged by the phenomenon of the ‘despecialised cut’, a decades-long effort by fans of Star Wars to wind back the clock on Lucas’s special editions and produce the authentic original Star Wars as seen in cinemas in 1977. Many expected the purchase of Star Wars by Disney to result in a release of these stolen treasures, but none has appeared — perhaps lending credence to the theory that the production of the special editions involved dismantling and repurposing all the remaining viable film elements of the original cuts. ‘Despecialised cuts’ proliferate, despite the stated goal being to return to the original truth of Star Wars. Fans cannot agree, it turns out, on exactly which elements of the special editions are authentic and inauthentic. Everyone can get mad at the cartoon dinosaur, but perhaps they don’t think the lightsabers should be white, or that matte lines on model X-wings deserve to be squirreled away. Despite years of effort, the single truth of Star Wars continues to elude capture.

    Some efforts are more authentic than others.

    There are different versions because there are different screens. Any TV whether in the past or today is fundamentally different to a cinema screen. Back in the day this was so straightforward and obvious that no-one questioned it: Your crummy CRT TV could barely display a TV channel correctly (especially if you were North American, suffering under the yoke of the NTSC colour system), let alone compete with the screen at the cinema. Before we even get to the quality of the image, for much of the history of the television the screen was a different shape. This makes a good analogy: much as pan-and-scan cut the physical size of the frame to fit the restrictions of TV, a similar job needs to be done to fit the superior contrast and colour of a 35mm image to what is possible on, and what would look good on, an average TV.

    The trouble is that while this need to reformat is now much less obvious — our TVs are bigger, brighter, more colourful than ever — it hasn’t gone away. Cinemas are (mostly) still projected using xenon bulbs, which give a quality of light totally unlike any display technology you’re likely to interact with. Cinema projectors can reliably reproduce colour in excess of the majority of home screens. One of the reasons that 35mm film continued as long as it did as the format of choice for directors was that it is capable of capturing dynamic range — contrast — well in excess of what the average video camera can capture, or TV screen can display. Every film pushed to home video or TV broadcast is reformatted to mitigate these differences. As screen technology advances, the change becomes more subtle but no less essential.

    Once you’ve accepted that every version for home viewing is an adaptation, a deviation away from the cinema experience — and that itself depending on the calibration and capability of the projector used — you start to understand what’s so pernicious about the phenomenon of the “35mm scan”. Because the implicit claim is that by going straight to the film print as a source of truth you’re avoiding all this inconsistency — but in fact you’re simply entrusting it to the hands of a well-meaning amateur. Someone still needs to handle how the dynamic range of film is mapped to the more limited range of video. It’s just either going to be the call of whoever prepares the scan, or worse still: the default settings of the scanning software.

    It’s a whirling vortex of uncertainty — to achieve the goal of adapting an accurate presentation of a specific 35mm print of a film for home video, you’re forced first to assume the accuracy of your scanner, then of the colour science of the scanning software, then of whatever tools you use to package the scan into a video. This is before you’ve considered whether there are any colour casts or degradation on the print itself that would need to be compensated for — if you had a reference to compare them with. With all that done, you can’t say anything certain about how the print looked when originally shown in a cinema other than that it was definitely illuminated with a bulb with a totally different tone to your screen.

    And of course, if you’re in the business of thinking that home releases are being chronically mis-coloured, you’re probably bringing your own biases to the table. The scanning software has tempting sliders for contrast and sliders for saturation and all sorts of other options. Let’s all hope your display is well-calibrated when you nudge the white balance a little warmer — after all, isn’t that how it was in the cinema? Most often when one of these scans turns up the argument from first principles is moot: the author has clearly jumped right in and tried to grade the film to their memory and preferences rather than the boring old scientific process that might not end up looking very good anyway.

    Well, why shouldn’t people make their own grades? It is after all a creative process, and there’s no more reason to believe that art cannot come from this process than there is to believe art can’t come from a re-cut or mash-up. I certainly think people should be able to do their own grades. What I can’t concede is locating in these efforts any authenticity, this fiction of a ‘perfect’ rendition of the film that is being denied to us by greedy corporations or fickle creatives. The truth is back where we started, with our alien observer: there is no perfect rendition, in fact there are no common renditions whatsoever. Every time a film is played is unique. The place, the time, the heat, the humidity, the age of your eyes. Much remains the same; more changes. A 35mm scan is no more able to take you back than a grotty old VHS.


    I think for lots of people the appeal of these scans is surely that of the cult: the insider knowledge, the initiation. Sure, you know The Matrix. But do you really know it? My carefully cultivated Plex library can show it to you in original cool blues instead of corporate-approved green. Original grades, open mattes, extended TV cuts: there’s something a bit “rare Pokémon cards” about it all.

    Directors are not immune to correcting against the vision in their memory either: later home releases have often “fixed” perceived issues with earlier ones, if not while introducing new ones. James Cameron is infamous for ramping up the digital noise reduction on his new releases to the point of parody. And of course George Lucas was making even special-er editions of Star Wars right up until he signed on the dotted line with Disney.

    It all speaks to the malleability of the experience, to the unique force of watching a movie over and again, discovering new things to love and new things to hate. Just don’t tell me that this one has the colours right.


    If you enjoyed this essay-length whinge, please watch my video essay The Fanatic, available now with a short companion essay kindly published by Blood Knife. If you’re after more text, please follow me here on Medium or subscribe to my Letterboxd reviews. I also post regularly on Bluesky.

  • 2024 review of films

    It’s been a funny year for movie watching — the arthouse cinema near me closed down in the middle of the year, which was disappointing. The Odeon over the road still thrives though, so plenty more blockbusters in my future. More than anything else though, my movie-watching has been dictated by the preparation for and arrival of my shiny new baby, which is delightful in most ways but did put a dent in the time I’d previously have used to sneak in the Rebel Moon director’s cuts, which I’ve shamefully still not caught up on.

    For fun cinema experiences not represented here, I saw Burden of Dreams at a small cinema in downtown Las Vegas while I was over there on my second trip of the year, using a giant spanner to adjust the big bolt that keeps the Sphere from floating off. I think that was about it — I saw Beekeeper, Madame Web, Love Lies Bleeding and Megalopolis on the big screen, all of which benefitted from it (Madame Web in particular was something of an impromptu private screening). Hopefully next year I can muscle in on the baby viewing game — there’s a cinema a short drive away where they’ll bring you a cake while you and the little one watch, which sounds pleasant.

    Without further adieu, the list. It’s ‘new releases’ ranked, for a definition of that which includes everything since my 2023 review and a few more that I just felt like fitting in.

    24. The Marvels

    An absolute hangover from last year, a tombstone movie for a dead era of Disney-Marvel which fails at almost everything it attempts. A shame as it’s hung on a trio of decent lead performances but I’ve not thought fondly of this once since seeing it.

    23. Watchmen: Chapter One

    A tepid adaption of the graphic novel which hews even more close to the source than the famously meticulous Snyder film. The only real adjustments made are to bowdlerise it, so lines that are paced well on page become slugging, leaden scenes on screen.

    22. Emilia Pérez

    This did not work for me at all, which is a shame because I know a lot of people have highly rated it (and it’s got awards buzz, whatever that means.) I’ve seen a bunch of variations on the black comedy/musical combination, some that work (Dear Evan Hansen stage musical) and some that immediately collapse under their own contradictions (Dear Evan Hansen movie) and this just ended up more the latter for me.

    I promise you nothing interesting is happening here.

    21. The Caine Mutiny Court Marshall

    In his documentary Reel Bad Arabs, Jack Shaheen calls Friedkin’s Rules of Engagement the most racist film ever made against Arabs. Impossible to forget that watching the climax of this, a weepy-eyed polemic on behalf of America’s mid-2000s adventurism in the Middle East. Soured the whole film.

    20. Hit Man

    Fine, funny, forgettable.

    19. Argylle

    Who is the real Agent Argylle? Ironically something of a return to form for Matthew Vaughn after some wobbly Kingsman entries, this outstays its already limited welcome and then some. You spend the first half thinking “this isn’t so bad” and the second half thinking “please end”.

    Who is the real Agent Argylle?

    18. Madame Web

    Her web truly does connect us all. If you want this year’s Suicide Squad, look no further: the seeds of greatness are here, in this film nobody asked for and nobody wanted. Dakota Johnson is magnetic as the titular weird little gremlin woman forced by fate to creepily abduct three teenagers. Every frame of this film is a testament to how something went down here, and hopefully one day we’ll find out what.

    17. The Instigators

    It’s a buddy comedy farce with Matt Damon and Casey Affleck, who have enough chemistry to keep it watchable. Will mostly remember it for the insane BTS video about how they faked all the water in the final sequence.

    I promise you most of Madame Web looked better than this.

    16. Pathaan

    Caught this Indian answer to both Bond and the MCU on a plane — great fun, very silly, some impressive action set pieces (as well as a few that seemed to have not quite worked out) and super interesting to watch soft power cultural chauvinism play out in a totally different context.

    15. Rebel Moon Part 2: The Scargiver

    I didn’t get to see this second half in the cinema, sadly, so it didn’t have a chance to wow me with the big screen visuals like the first. On top of that, it was chased up by the director’s cuts which are on all accounts superior, but I wasn’t able to pack them into my now baby-dominated schedule. I’m sure they’ll be on next year’s list. Fear not, I am still a died-in-the-wool Snyder Sicko.

    That’s Jimmy.

    14. Rebel Ridge

    It’s good, and a very enjoyable watch, and it rightly draws attention to the scummy phenomenon of civil forfeiture, and Aaron Pierre has buckets of screen presence, I just expect a bit more from Jeremy Saulnier, the guy who directed Blue Ruin and Green Room. Feels like he was aiming for a broader appeal and just sanded a bit too much of his style away.

    13. Poor Things

    Still unsure what to make of Yorgos Lanthimos’ end-2023 sprawl of gothic steampunk and proto-feminism. Many excellent elements somehow fail to come together to produce something truly excellent, despite a stout lead performance by Emma Stone and a scene-stealing impresario in Mark Ruffalo.

    12. Unfrosted

    Jerry Seinfeld, I am horrified to say, is an auteur. A dispatch from an alien world in disguise as a comedy of the grotesque. Essential viewing.

    Words cannot prepare you for this Unfrosted sub-plot.

    11. Dune: Part Two

    This is far too low for Villeneuve’s middle entry into what will be a trilogy of Dune films; having read Dune Messiah earlier this year I can see why he considered it a necessary third — it’s basically the climax of the entire first book. Suffers a little as a distinct film from not having much of it’s own setting to introduce; the underground sietches are fine, and Giedi Prime is spectacular, but it’s a small slice of the worldbuilding of part one.

    10. Conclave

    As with 2019’s The Two Popes, scurrilous little priests bickering and scheming is an easy way to win my affection. Ralph Fiennes stars as the will-he won’t-he Cardinal trying to determine who should be the next Pope, with a pleasing cast of character actors to face off against. Unfortunately there’s a few slightly outlandish elements that are maybe meant to feel destabilising but can only summon bathos. Looks beautiful though.

    9. Love Lies Bleeding

    I really loved this bouncy, extravagent yet bleak tale of two bodybuilding lesbians and one gross dad. This sort of thing is so often scared to be goofy where appropriate, but the Las Vegas scene here will be sticking with me for a while, as will the [Steven Universe voice] giant woman.

    Good title, too.

    8. Megalopolis

    The year’s biggest contradiction in terms, the political thriller with no politics. Francis Ford Coppola spent his own money putting the biggest swing for the fences since Attack of the Clones in cinemas and it’s a truely unique bit of nonsense. It’s genius, it’s beautiful, it’s obviously had to ration the VFX shots and despite being absolutely mad it’s still exactly the film you’d expect Coppola to spend all his money making. Could have been at the bottom of the list, could have been at the top. In the event, it’s here.

    7. The Beekeeper

    My affection for the work of David Ayer is sealed in blood, sweat and tears of course, but it was still enervating to start the year out seeing him return to mainstream success. The Beekeeper, written by Kurt Wimmer of Equilibrium fame, is a script so silly but self-serious that it hits like alchemy combined with Ayer’s game direction. The rapid-fire shifts between nonsense and hard action seen in films like — for example — Suicide Squad just flies, and Jason Statham (who often seems on a permanent quest for his breakthrough action persona) is exactly the right man to swirl at the centre of it. He’s a Beekeeper, they need to get hit, he’s the man to hit them. All the way to the top.

    Do not say Megaflopolis.

    6. Hundreds of Beavers

    Surely not the first film inspired by the mechanics of a video game, or the comedic flow of a Let’s Play, but definitely the most successful. The Minecraft film is unlikely to capture the agonies of progression half as well as this did. An inspirational piece of low-budget filmmaking and genuinely funny to boot.

    5. Ferrari

    If only Signor Ferrari would attend to business matters and not be so fixed on racing! This was a very pleasant surprise, an exacting character study shared between Penelope Cruz and Adam Driver as Laura and Enzo Ferrari. Death — and the spectre of the war — is so omnipresent that no-one blinks an eye as another test driver careens off the track to his doom. Ferrari has races to win.

    The face of a man who has dealt death to Hundred of Beavers.

    4. The Holdovers

    Dragged across from 2023 is this instant Christmas classic, where frustrated schoolmaster Paul Giamatti must face down the holiday period responsible for Dominic Sessa’s troubled young man, with only Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s school cook to mediate. Deeply funny and affecting; the scene where Sessa visits his father is heartbreaking.

    3. Anatomy of a Fall

    Another holdover from 2023, you know Anatomy of a Fall is going to be genius from the moment that steel drum hits. Sandra Hüller is magnetic as the frosty professional writer accused of killing her talentless partner, summoning great oceans of displeasure in just sitting still with a neutral face. Alongside everything else, a fascinating insight into the French legal system.

    That’s Furiosa.

    2. Furiosa

    Highly anticipated, I thought this was an astonishingly confident follow up to Fury Road, and a contribution that would enhance that film on a viewing of the pair together. Miller’s action sandy action set pieces are unlike anything else still being attempted, but for me the highlight of the film was the climax: an intense, intimate meditation on the utility of revenge and how any one person can be responsible for a whole world of shit.

    1. I Saw the TV Glow

    Speaking of poor viewing conditions, surely the best movie I have ever watched on a plane. Making it all the more impressive that this is sitting at number one! It’s such a slight thing as well, with a consciously truncated third act that leaves you screaming at the screen for more. A worse movie would feel unfinished or unsatisfying, but I Saw the TV Glow is filled with just enough absolute despair — and just enough brilliant hope — that all you want to do is experience it again.


    Still on the docket —

    • Trap: I haven’t seen anything from the M. Night Shyamalan renaissance, hoping to give this a go.
    • Kinds of Kindness: Didn’t manage to find time for this Lanthimos follow-up.
    • The Substance: I’m not generally a horror person but this had great buzz at the end of the year.
    • Rebel Moon Director’s Cuts: Netflix’s decision to break this film into four indisputably a swing and a miss. I liked the theatrical cuts more than most but the red meat is meant to be in these extended versions.
    • Joker: Folie à Deux: No film that makes people this upset can have nothing going for it.
    • The People’s Joker: Vera Drew absolutely living the dream, giving two fingers to the notion that you can own pop culture and taking it all for herself. Sadly not out in the UK yet.
    • The Boy and the Heron: I’ll be straining credulity including this in the 2025 list.
    • Challengers: I will watch the sexy tennis love triangle movie.
    • Deadpool and Wolverine: I just think I’m better than this.

    If you like my writing, please watch my video essay The Fanatic, available now with a short companion essay kindly published by Blood Knife. If you’re after more text, please follow me on Medium or subscribe to my Letterboxd reviews.

  • Emersonian (Megalopolis)

    Contains detailed discussions of things that happen in Megalopolis. Go see it first.

    Filmed on an LED volume; put that in your pipe and smoke it.

    It’s easy to take a film like this at its own myth, and much of the marketing in the run up to the release has encouraged you to do so. The now-infamous trailer consisting of machine-apocryphal negative quotes about Coppola’s earlier films, the much-vaunted selling of Coppola’s vineyard to fund the budget, the tactically-leaked tales of late improvisational nights smoking weed in the production trailer with the cast. It all contributes to an image of this film as something special, something which has taken an above-and-beyond effort to see realised — something which has loftier goals than the average flick. It’s always going to be hard to sit in the cinema and see that collapsed into an actual film.

    Does Megalopolis crumble under the weight of expectation? Not quite. True, it’s not that weird and the giddy fervour with which critics have spent the last month damning it to hell as an incoherent mess (46% on Rotten Tomatoes, for anyone whose soul is withered enough to care) seems really a bit of a put-on; no-one is risking their cushy access to Oscar screeners or whatever by dunking on this ‘independent’ film. It’s a well-made film with some judacious if budget-bound visual effects. It has a mercurial cast of talented and famous actors who are well-suited to their roles. It’s not particularly radical in structure — there’s a nod to formalism with the occasional act-breaking title card but mostly it follows a classic Hollywood plot structure with a few break-outs into something weirder (Protagonist Cesar’s drug-fuelled breakdown; the final Megalopolis montage) and a few things that are ostentatiously typical — the scene where Cesar sees old flame Wow Platinum at the park and offers her his coat is sublimely executed, but could have come from Love, Actually.


    We’re never given any real explanation for why Cesar is playing with this prism. Perhaps he just thinks it’s neat.

    What’s actually weird in Megalopolis? There’s two main aspects, and both bear comparison to some other controversial directors. The acting in Megalopolis is not at all naturalistic — it has an element of the Shakespearean. In fact many scenes feel like they have come from an adaptation of some unknown discovered Shakespeare: the way in which we follow around the members of one or two families as they explain the popular politics to us through their encounters recalls Romeo and Juliet; the plot itself of course is filled with references to antiquity and to Julius Caesar. The good nephew who hides his virtue in controversy and the bad son who wages war on his own King is a twist on personal favourite Henry IV Part 1. And so the acting is grandiose, prone to monologue, and allows the actors reign to interpret the dialogue as they will. Adam Driver’s delivery of “You think one year of medical school entitles you to plow through the riches of my Emersonian mind?” is not something you will see emulated in any other movie this year. George Lucas, of course, filled his Star Wars prequels with similarly stylised performances and dialogue and was pilloried for it — Coppola perhaps had some of the Tom Stoppard-inflected monologues from Revenge of the Sith in mind when scripting Megalopolis, with its odes to a dying republic and portraits of the people who let it become so.

    The other aspect is the earnestness, with Megalopolis being a distinctly funny film — again aping Shakespeare, every indulgent moment of drama is defused with a little following slapstick — that is nonetheless bereft of the cynical humour that has become the mode for big Hollywood presentations. What does this mean? Well there’s several dick jokes and no “well that happened” moments. Alongside this cheeky humour, the actual meat of the film is similarly direct: Driver’s Cesar wants to build his dream project, the titular Megalopolis. The film wants you to want him to build it. There’s no interrogation of the merits of doing so — indeed other reviews have noted the lack of any class perspective whatsoever. It’s about the pure power of creating, the inherent worth in having the will to see something done. Naturally this recalls the cod-Nietzschean energy of Ayn Rand’s infamous The Fountainhead, another epic about a man who wants to build a thing. But Megalopolis is not Randian except in the most broad of strokes. Cesar’s high goals set him above the other characters but not in terms of rational self-interest, or in a way that is permissive of him to be cruel. Rather, the other characters are simply fallen, craven, too beholden to this existing world to open their eyes and see the next one approaching fast.

    This next world admittedly seems to involve a lot of petal-like buildings that flap around a bit. In the film’s driving metaphor, Cesar is able — by some virtue of his artistry or his engineering or his connection to the wonder-material Megalon — to stop time. But we never see him use it for any deliberate purpose. It’s only used for the artistic ends it’s already a metaphor for. Similarly, the shorthand for the Megalopolis project and it’s world of boons ends up being a sort of space-travelator; it’s a city that’s literally going to help you get to where you want to go. America like Rome is a dying Empire, so in this America Madison Square Gardens is literally a circus. Cesar at one point misses his dead wife while suffering from a hole in the head. It’s an exceptionally literal film in many ways.


    What could it mean?

    Where Megalopolis disappoints is in its handling of gender, the classical trappings being something of a lure to encourage you away from noticing that Cesar lives in a world where there are only three women: grasping climbers, frigid mothers and beautiful perennial muses. The climbers appear in the twin figures of Wow Platinum, the TV gossip host whose role is elevated significantly by Aubrey Plaza’s performance, and Taylor Swift-alike Vesta, the virginial singer who makes a brief but significant appearance at the halfway point of the film. Platinum is a perfect foil for Jon Voight’s slightly hateful, slightly loveable wealthy banker Crassus. Unlike the feckless Clodio (who has the classic Disney villain cross-dressing trait) and his two sisters, Platinum has the drive and the ability to outmaneuver old Crassus, who she marries after dumping a disinterested Cesar — so it’s a shame that of all the characters in the story, a violent death is reserved for her.

    Similarly, there’s an odd edge to the reveal that Vesta — the subject of a ludicrous and deeply satirical auction for her virtue — is in fact not a virgin, or a teenager, or American. Do those things count against her? Should we be good Kantians and hold the subject of this horrid circus to account for lying, even in these circumstances?

    Cesar’s mother is perfectly unloveable and a non-entity beyond that, perhaps to drive home his need for unconditional love from Natalie Emmannuel’s Julia. Much of the film is spent in discussion of Cesar’s previous muse Sunny Hope, who was driven to despair by his mercurial nature — and his cheating. Modern replacement Emmannuel’s Julia has the most difficult job in the cast, keeping any kind of edge on a character written as permanently doe-eyed and bowled over by the great creative virtues of the man she is muse to. Her big moment is getting to say “stop time… for me!” Furiosa this is not. It’s a huge missed opportunity for this ostensible vision of the future to be so hide-bound in its women characters.


    Much like the film’s politics, it looks neat but it’s unclear what it’s actually meant to do.

    As mentioned above, the film plays with being political, with having something specific about politics to say. Where it settles is not exactly deep however, and it’s more than a little reactionary. Rich dilettantes playing with the emotions of the mob are dangerous. Indulging fascism will bring some truly stupid people to power. Rioting is bad. It’s not much to sink your teeth into and even the ostensibly political framing of the corrupt old-world mayor who serves corporate interests is quickly rinsed out and replaced with an interpersonal conflict about Cesar marrying his daughter. The climax of the film has Cesar address the audience directly (okay, it’s somehow the second-most-direct address to the audience in this film) to beg them to dream big and shoot for the stars and so on. I couldn’t decide whether the slightly bathetic nature of this was intentional or not; I think it wasn’t. It’s a Mishima speech, one given by a character too detached from the world of regular people to have any purchase or impact. He’s hollering from that balcony but the noise from the planes is just too loud to hear what’s being said. It’s enough to wrap up the plot, but I didn’t feel inspired much at all.

    Which I think is the ultimate problem for Megalopolis — Coppola wants to inspire us to debate, to think, to create society anew — but he doesn’t actually have any idea how. Taking a single rich family as a microcosm of society as a whole is useful for telling a story, but it’s a difficult way to offer something tangible. How To Blow Up a Pipeline could at least suggest blowing up a pipeline. Becoming Barron Trump is simply inaccessible for most people. There are plenty in the world who remember that the world was made by people, made by their choices. Rediscovering that is important, but it’s not even a first step. For me, Megalopolis can’t even claim to be reigniting that flame — the Graeber and Wengrow book The Dawn of Everything made a much more compelling case for the inadequency of our politics to our ever-changing nature.

    Is it perhaps unfair to expect a film to reinvent politics. But it’s only even a notion because this is Francis Ford Coppola’s Film That Reinvents Politics (and Art, and Love, and Everything) which is maybe a silly thing to aspire for a film to be. I wouldn’t change it though. And as a mere film, it has unique moments, spectacular visuals and a beating heart. That’s enough, I think.


    If you like my writing, please watch my video essay The Fanatic, available now with a short companion essay kindly published by Blood Knife. If you’re after more text, please follow me on Medium or subscribe to my Letterboxd reviews.

  • The Acolyte (episodes 1–8)

    Almost ten months ago now I was basically getting punked by Ahsoka. Spoilers here for all of The Acolyte.

    Me and the gang getting ready to log onto Disney+ and watch some more Star Wars.

    Once again, we return. It felt like a shame to not watch the new Star Wars TV show, especially in the anticipatory air that has swept in with the cessation of weird shareholder antics over at the Disney corporation: a fully armed and operational Bob Iger 2 will be anihilating entire cinemas in the near future, and all this TV nonsense will likely be swept under the rug, with only critical darlings Andor and The Mandolorian passing into memory. And for me, the era of misery-watching bleak tie-in slop that started back with Obi-wan and ran through Ahsoka may be tied off by — let me see — “The Mandolorian and Grogu”, coming to cinemas May 2026. I can hardly express my anticipation.

    Into the muted gulf of my attention is pitched The Acolyte, a startlingly late attempt by Disney to take the straightforward option: just do some regular TV shows, but stuff them full of cloaks, wipe transitions and laser swords. The Acolyte is theoretically free-floating, liberated from the need to tie in to any existing material. Set in what the greasy branding materials define as ‘The High Republic’ (a name presumably picked ex post facto by whoever described the original films as happening ‘a long time ago in a galaxy far far away’), the show can depict a unique setting which blends elements of Star Wars in among novel sci-fi concepts. By which I mean that it’s a cop show set five minutes before The Phantom Menace. They tried! But despite being on the face of it a poor testament to the infinite flexibility of the Star Wars setting, Acolyte does have one real trump card to play: it’s quite good.


    Sol has an almost Harry DuBois-esque incompetance to him. It’s charming, at first.

    The sequel trilogy was, of course, a sequel to Revenge of the Sith even if it struggled to live up to that mantle. Obi-wan was a sequel to the prequel trilogy. Andor was a prequel to Rogue One which was itself a belated prequel to Return of the Jedi. Ahsoka was something of an interlude — when that Thrawn film surfaces perhaps it will seem more like prologue. Into this tapestry we must weave The Acolyte, a show that more than anything seems imbued with the spirit of Attack of the Clones, set in and around the institution of the Jedi at it’s peak, as it slowly and inexorably heads towards its destruction. That movie laid the blame with institutional incapacity, incompetence, and arrogance. “Count Dooku was once a Jedi. [murder] is not in his character.” and all that.

    Acolyte opts instead to examine endemic failures: what sort of thing are individual Jedi doing, screwing up and covering up? After all, what is the failing Jedi order if not an organisation made up of failing Jedi? Very straightforwardly inspired by real-world stories of overreaching authority, most obviously the Waco siege, we learn the story of four Jedi who catastrophically screw up a basic assignment in a way that destroys the lives of two young girls. The Jedi aren’t grandly deceived, they don’t have true and pure intentions, they just do the wrong thing for selfish, poorly thought-out reasons, and people die because of it. Then the institution, as institutions are wont to do, merely acts to insulate itself from blowback. It’s simple but effective (six seasons of Line of Duty stand as testament to the story-telling power of ‘this goes all the way to the top’) and crucially well-executed. It’s well-made Star Wars.


    Does every Star Wars have to have a green bureaucrat in it now?

    Acolyte’s first strength is the cast, with Amandla Stenberg giving a competent dual showing as the sisters Osha and Mae against Manny Jacinto’s smoldering antagonist Qimir and Lee Jung-Jae’s bumbling Jedi Master Sol. There are various strong secondary players many of who, uh, take a sabbatical after the midway point, and Carrie-Anne Moss brings gravity to the crucial but brief appearances of Master Indara, whose inability to rally her underlings to her demands gives the flashback episodes something of a LinkedIn vibe to them at times. Beloved character of tie-in novels and comics ‘Vernestra’ has the unplesant job of doing the various ‘back at the ranch’ cutaways here. She’s played by Green Rebecca Henderson (the makeup still doesn’t look good), who isn’t quite as terminal a presence as Green Mary Elizabeth Winstead, but there’s not as much clear air between them as I’d like. In fact it’s quite odd how similar their scenes are structurally, with both characters having to cover for their wildcard colleagues — which is odd given that one of them is supposed to be a swashbuckling hero of the New Republic and the other is a corrupt, doomed administrator of the Old Republic. But I digress.

    Here’s our guy.

    Any true Attack of the Clones must have its Dexter Jettster, and here that’s definitely the elusive and mercurial Bazil, the rodent-like tracker the Jedi hire in episode 4 who quietly becomes the series’ answer to the droid mascot — but where the purpose of the droids has always been to sneak servitude and feudal mores in under the audiences’ noses, Bazil’s animal form actually makes it impossible to ignore his curious mezzanine set of rights. He has a name, he has a job, he speaks a language which can be learned. While ostensibly paying for his services though, the Jedi casually lose him in the evil forest. When he’s one of the three survivors of the clash with antagonist Qimir, Sol fails to acknowledge him at all when they’re back onboard his ship. In the finale, as Sol risks both their lives dangerously thrusting his ship into the asteroid ring, Bazil’s action to intervene receives the kind of blank expression you’d give a malfunctioning machine. Or Droid, even. This guy is obviously a person! But Sol, by this point in every way our perfectly fallen Jedi, can’t see him as human even as his actions contribute to Sol having to head down to the planet and to his eventual doom. When Qimir challenges Mae to kill a Jedi without using a weapon, perhaps this is what he means.

    Droids otherwise receive little attention here, beyond the pilot droids who are incapable of abandonning ship in the second episode and Osha’s ever-present personal assistant, whose Damascene conversion late in the series is only really a reflection of the exchange of places between Osha and Mae. Perhaps, like we’re supposed to think of the lightsaber crystal, the sheer hatred rolling about in the air turned the tiny droid evil. Or maybe it’s best to not be quite that literal.


    Qimir’s helmet is, noticably, much cooler than Kylo Ren’s.

    While I described it as a ‘cop show’ before, Acolyte is not structured like a procedural. Rather, it’s firmly in the prestige TV mold — not as structurally radical as the film/serial structure of Andor, but akin to something like True Detective: a single story explored over the season, with the decision sometimes made to weaken the structure of the overall story in order to deliver eight semi-contained episodes. This is worst for the two Rashomon-aping flashback episodes, already beleaguered as they are with child actor leads, which end up separating crucial revelations from the characters they are revelatory to; when Osha removes the sensory deprivation helmet in episode 8 we’re left to figure out for ourselves that she was probably watching episode 7 in there.

    Aside from this however the show — perhaps aware of the belligerence of the average Star Wars superfan — takes a confident if hand-holding tour through the ostensibly self-contained main plot. Centering on events on Mae and Osha’s home planet when they were children, we’re drip-fed details about how the Jedi fatally mishandled a situation such that they performed a home invasion, in the process killing their entire extended family of dubious witch-people. The hand-holding peaks with Mae and Osha’s mother, standing at the wrong end of a laser sword hilt, explaining to the audience that she’s good actually and was going to do the right thing had she not been murdered by the space police. But the twists and turns are coherent and logical, for the most part, and contain some genuinely exceptional moves for a Star Wars entry — the build of Sol into a sinister and deranged figure is slow but inexorable. Qimir’s easy company is allowed to lull the audience (and Osha) into forgetting that he’s wizard Rorschach. Even the stuff that’s really rough, like the mind wipe tree ending, is executed with such panache that you go along with it.

    Almost.

    Whether by chance or careful planning, some of the stumbling blocks that previous Star Wars TV shows hit are avoided entirely. The costumes never look bad (with the exception of Green Rebecca Henderson’s senate gown, which may well be deliberate), and the team are having great fun playing out Osha and Mae’s internal drama in fabric. The twin characters swap clothes, roles and pairings repeatedly through the story (think Luke in episodes 4 through 6) in a manner that artfully demonstrates the weakness of Sol’s late insistence on their magical nature making them more one person than two. “You’re not even sisters!” he exclaims, even as they straightforwardly behave in the most recognisable sisterly fashion. The sets and locations are solid as well, with the Coruscant scenes just about seeming like they might be taking place in some unpleasant cloisters just off-screen from Attack of the Clones and the inevitable Mos Eisley analogue not feeling like twenty extras milling about on a sound stage, as was the case for the entirety of Obi-wan.

    The hooks for additional seasons of story are appropriately integrated as well. Not here will you find Ahsoka’s ludicrous buck-passing cliff-hanger finale; everything promised in the first episode is paid off in the last one, with Sol and the gang all worm food, Osha getting into religion and Mae… well, Mae’s on the backburner for now. Qimir’s scar, the most obvious unopened box, is thematically coherent as-is — there is nothing strictly to be gained by exploring it except in so far as that could form part of a new narrative in the future, which is all you can hope for.


    Osha is so ruthlessly commited to Dialectics that she is constantly at war with the person she was two days ago, who is a clown and a coward.

    Needless to say, I did not want or need to like The Acolyte, but here I am. Somehow, the dead franchise — which I declared sick beyond all rescue at the end of Ahsoka — has returned. Will they be able to pull this off again? I certainly hope so, though Lee Jung-Jae’s absence would be keenly felt in a sequel season. Part of what made this first season so enjoyable though was the ability of the show to spin characters up in a handful of scenes such that their subsequent loss was felt more keenly; who knows which character actor they’ll have in to be the protagonist in a sequel.


    Previously:

    1. Obi-wan: Episode 1
    2. Obi-wan: Episode 2
    3. Obi-wan: Episode 3
    4. Obi-wan: Episode 4
    5. Obi-wan: Episode 5
    6. Obi-wan: Episode 6
    7. The Phantom Menace (video essay)
    8. Andor: Episodes 1, 2, 3
    9. “Can Andor save Star Wars from itself?” Andor: Episodes 4, 5, 6 (plus supplemental)
    10. Andor: Episode 7
    11. Andor: Episodes 8, 9, 10
    12. Andor: Episodes 11, 12
    13. Ahsoka: Episodes 1, 2
    14. Ahsoka: Episodes 3, 4, 5, 6
    15. Ahsoka: Episodes 7, 8
    16. The Acolyte

    If you like my writing, watch my video essay The Fanatic, available now with a short companion essay kindly published by Blood Knife. If you’re after more text, please follow me on Medium or subscribe to my Letterboxd reviews.